Free
by WaffleNinja412
Summary: What if Raph didn't break free of the Brainworm's control, until it was too late?


Raphael watched as Leonardo flipped through the air, heading straight for Shredder. Raphael darted forward, and intercepted the attack, blocking Leonardo's katanas with his gauntlets. The blue masked turtle's eyes widened.

"Raph, snap out of it, man!" he yelled, propelling backwards and landing a few feet away. "Shredder's the enemy!" Raphael narrowed his eyes, shredder was his master, not his enemy. The turtle brandished his gauntlets, glaring death at Leonardo.

"You are the enemy!" he growled, charging forward. Leonardo's eyes widened further as he blocked every attack, Raphael snarled, pushing himself harder. He had to defeat him, he had to get rid of all of them. That's what he was supposed to do, that's what he was going to do, so why was something screaming at him to stop? Raphael dismissed his thoughts and sliced towards Leonardo, smacking his katanas right out of his grasp. Leonardo dodged another attack and jumped over Raphael, landing on a statue behind him.

"Raph, you gotta break Shredder's control!" Leonardo said, looking down at him pleadingly. "This isn't you! Where's that crazy temper?" he asked, pulling a bladed staff from the statue and brandishing it. Raphael glared at him.

"Don't be a fool," he growled, "there's nothing you could say, Leonardo."

Say something! Help me!

Raph scowled and blocked out the desperate voice, then his eyes widened as he narrowly dodged an object that Leonardo threw at him.

"Break free, you jerk!" Leonardo growled, jumping down from the statue and nearly hitting Raphael with the staff. Raphael grunted and spun away from him, blocking another attack, which was too close for his comfort. The red masked turtle growled and pushed Leonardo away, then attacked again.

Their weapons clashed repeatedly, sparks flying from the metal as they striked each other. It was like a rhythm, a song that Raphael hated with all his being deep down. But, Raphael ignored the feelings once again, and jumped over Leonardo, ready to bring his weapons down into the other turtle's neck, but Leonardo blocked it somehow with the handle of the staff, and pushed Raphael away from him. The rhythm picked up again, and Raphael's mind was screaming for it to end.

"Ah, I think I get it," Leonardo suddenly said, spinning and dodging another attack. "You can't feel emotion, because you're shredder's puppet." Raphael blocked yet another assault, growling in anger and slashing at Leonardo once again. "As a matter of fact," Leonardo continued, dodging every slice, "I bet you like doing whatever shredder tells you!" Raphael snarled in fury, stabbing at the other turtle, but missing again.

I don't! Please, help! Make it stop! Please!

"You probably love it!" Leonardo smirked, and managed to smack Raphael's face with the staff. Raphael staggered back a few feet, shoulders heaving. Rage filled him, complete rage. He was going to end this turtle! He was going to spill his blood, just like master shredder wanted. Raphael spun, screaming in fury, and drove his blades toward his enemy. Leonardo's eyes widened.

NO! DON'T!

A scream of pain and fear ripped through the room. Red filled Raphael's vision, and he felt the liquid splatter on his face. Leonardo stumbled to the ground, clutching his bleeding side. Raphael glared at him, as he looked up with wide cobalt eyes.

"R-Raph…" he whispered, Raphael sneered, advancing with his bloody gauntlets raised. Finish him. Leonardo struggled to back away, eyes still wide in horror.

"LEO!" the other turtles screamed for him, but Leonardo shook his head.

"G-go! Get out!"

"Shut up!" Raphael kicked Leonardo back, the other turtle yelped in pain, more blood painted the floor.

"R-Raph, snap out of it, p-plea-" but Leonardo was cut off by the scream of pain that escaped him when Raphael slashed the gauntlet blades across his plastron, and then his face.

"I said shut up!" he snarled.

STOP! STOP IT! DON'T DO THIS! SNAP OUT OF IT!

"Ra-ph…!" Leonardo pleaded, desperately looking up at him, tears streaming down his face. Raphael growled and wrapped his hands around the other turtle's neck, lifting him and pinning him against the wall. He raised the gauntlet again, ready to pierce it through the enemy's face, but froze, the blades inches from Leonardo's forehead. Why did he stop? What was he doing? What…

"L-Leo….?" was that… him? The real him…? Raph clamped his eyes shut for a moment, shaking his head, and when he opened them, his green irises widened in shock. "L-Leo?!" His big brother was bleeding from everywhere it looked like, his side, his plastron, his face. What happened? Who- Raph gasped when he saw himself. His hand was wrapped around his brother's throat, he was wearing bloody gauntlets. No… No no no. No! He couldn't have… he didn't… he did.

Raph staggered back, dropping Leo and staring at himself. He was covered in his brother's blood. Shell. Oh shell. No! Raph frantically ripped the gauntlets off his hands and threw them across the room, breathing erratic. He hurt Leo, shell, he hurt his brother! Raph felt sick all of a sudden, and hunched over, gagging until he spit out the brainworm, the creature wiggled about, and Raph kicked it away fearfully, then looked over at his brother again.

"Leo!" he dashed toward his older brother, Leo was lying on the ground, barely breathing. "Oh shell, no, Leo, come on!" Raph lifted him gently from the ground, cradling him in his arms. There was so much blood, Raph swallowed thickly, pressing his hand over Leo's gaping wound. Leo grimaced, yelping in pain. Raph cringed, tears filling his eyes. "L-Leo… I-it's okay, you're gonna be alright, okay?" the green eyed turtle looked back at his other brothers, Mikey was staring at the scene in horror, and Donnie was just starting to rush over to them. "You're gonna be o-okay, Leo." Raph repeated, trying desperately to calm down. He noticed shredder and his goons had disappeared, probably ran away when their little plan failed. But, did it? Shredder had wanted Raph to betray his family, kill his brothers. What if Leo died? What if shredder got what he wanted? Raph choked out a sob, unable to hold the tears in anymore as he held his big brother tightly. "Leo, I-I'm so sorry! I'm sorry!"

"R-Raph…" Leo choked out, as Donnie finally arrived, eyes wide in panic as he pulled a roll of bandages out of his belt. "N-not your... Fau-fault…" Raph shook his head, still sobbing as Donnie began to wrap Leo's wound.

Minutes passed, and it felt like eternity. Even through layers and layers of bandages were applied, blood was still soaking through them. Raph felt numb as he followed Leatherhead, who was carrying his big brother, out to the shell razor. He hurt him, he hurt Leo. Leo could die tonight, and it would be Raph's fault. The ride to the lair was silent, except for the soft sobs that Raph couldn't contain. Mikey had tried to calm him down, but Raph could clearly see that his baby brother was scared. Scared of him.

Raph stared at his big brother sadly as Leo rested on the couch. It had been almost a week, a week since Raph nearly killed Leo. Donnie and master splinter had said he'd be okay, it would be a long recovery, but Leo would be fine. But, this wasn't fine. Why was Raph still here? Why hadn't they kicked him out? He shouldn't still be a part of this family, not when he betrayed them. He didn't deserve them, he didn't deserve their love and forgiveness.

Raph swallowed thickly as he clutched Leo's hand a bit tighter, clamping his eyes shut.

"I'm so sorry." he whispered. "I'm sorry, Leo." Raph felt a sob creep up his throat, and buried his face in his older brother's uninjured arm. "I-I'm so, so sorry. Y-you didn't deserve this, you… I'm sorry…!"

"Raph…" Raph's head snapped up to see Leo looking at him sadly, a reassuring smile on his face. "It's okay, it wasn't your fault." Raph stared at him, then shook his head firmly.

"N-no, you were right, I should've been able to break free!" he cried angrily. "I probably did like listening to shredder, shell, I'm just like him, Leo, I-"

"Hey," Leo cut him off, resting a hand on Raph's shoulder. "You are nothing like shredder, Raphael. You didn't want to hurt me, you didn't want to hurt anyone. But, you couldn't control your own actions. You were under shredder's control." Raph stared at him with tears still in his eyes. He didn't get it, why wasn't Leo yelling at him? Why was he forgiving him?

"W-why don't you hate me?" Raph asked softly. "I-I almost killed you, Leo… I-" but Raph was cut off again when Leo pulled him into a tight hug.

"I could never hate you, Raph. You're my little brother, I love you no matter what." Leonardo said, his voice sounding like he was on the verge of tears as well. Raph's bottom lip quivered as he broke down again, hugging his big brother gently and crying into his shoulder. Leo rubbed his shell comfortingly. Raph sniffled after a while, pulling out of the hug, but still clutching Leo's hand. "You should get some rest yourself, Raph." Leo said softly. Raph sighed, thinking about arguing but deciding against it. Leo was just as stubborn as he was sometimes. Raph sighed, resting his head on Leo's shoulder and closing his eyes.

"Fine. but wake me up if you need something, okay?" Leo chuckled a bit.

"Yeah, okay, little brother." he agreed, resting his own head on top of Raph's. Raph smiled softly, and chuckled a few minutes later when he felt his younger brothers cuddle up next to him on the floor.

"I love you guys." Mikey said softly, yawning. Donnie nodded in agreement against Raph's chest. Raph smiled, hugging Mikey and Don with his free arm, and squeezing Leo's hand gently.

"I love you too, brothers."

The End


End file.
